Giving Meaning to My Journey

Today I went for a run on the beach and caught myself reflecting; I was thinking a lot about all of the things that have brought me to where I am today. Grateful is an understatement, to have been able to move away from home to a beautiful city with the ability to exercise on the beach with such a beautiful view, much like today's. I couldn't help, but think about how blessed I am.

I moved away not knowing what life would have in store for me, but I was optimistic for nothing short of a great college experience. I left thinking I knew who I was, as I've always been confident in my identity. Little did I know, life had so much more in store for me & I hadn't even become the person I'm meant to be, yet.

My entire life I had always been confident in my actions, which I felt didn't always match up to what others' did. I took pride in being different, by just being myself. Now that I've become aware of them, I realize that there were all of these social constructs that surrounded us and still do--telling us how to live, what to wear, what to eat, what it means to be "cool", trying to mold our identity into a normalized state, discouraging us from being who we truly are. Ultimately, I had to lose myself and everything I thought I was in order to find the meaning for my life. Thankfully I had a few people who catalyzed growth and curiosity within me, and opened my mind to perspectives and a higher levels of consciousness that were never once there. Although where I am now is filled with peace and acceptance, that wasn't always the case.

There have been pivotal points in my life that were filled with fear, sadness, anger--many emotions that I didn't enjoy feeling, but I felt like I had no control over them. They were controlling me, but only because I was allowing them to. These feelings were so different from what I was used to feeling. Where there was once happiness, joy, love, and confidence---laid the opposite. Today walking on the beach, seeing hundreds of people laughing and full of life, I couldn't help but feel so much love and good energy around me...I was listening to music and walking observing everything around me, from the flocking birds in the air down to the toddlers building sand castles, this is what life is...all of the little things that don't make noise.

For the longest time I had thought life was about going through the motions and dealing with things as they came. But after searching and learning from every single experience, I realized that everything I was doing felt robotic, and that there had to be more to life than this constructed world we live in. I began questioning the 'normal' things, like the activities we partake in, the food we feed ourselves, the things we are entertained by, the clothes we buy, the way we treat and judge people based off of insignificant factors, etc. None of it made sense, and all of it served nothing but temporary and illusionary self-fulfillment.

After awhile, I was beginning to find answers and signs that were significant and necessary for my growth. I learned that life isn't a destination, it's a process, a journey. A journey, that you create and decide what you want to manifest. I wanted to know everything, but I now know that I didn't need to understand, I just needed to accept. What I learned to accept is that hard times are gonna happen. I overcame situations I thought would once keep me from being complete, or from finding happiness. I found myself wondering and wanting answers, explanations, closure, understanding. I had then realized that there was no such thing. Everything that I'd ever experienced was meaningless, until I decided what that meaning was.

I began seeing synchronicities everywhere and meeting people that kept elevating me for the better. Throughout the past three and a half years, I isolated myself for the sole purpose of really finding myself, and figuring out what that phrase meant. I made a promise to myself to find my meaning and help others do the same along the way. I didn't expect anybody to understand, and a lot of people didn't. I lost a handful of friends, some of them by choice, some of them not. Nothing was personal, but it was all about elevating myself and surrounding myself with like-minded people and friends who accepted my honesty and who truly understood me. It was time for me to be selfish. Something we all need to be when it comes to our growth and well-being.

I no longer accepted that life just "happened" to me, I decided to face my fears and master my mind, body and spirit in the best way that I knew how. I was thirsty for knowledge and peace. I also became more aware that all of these are the silent truths in life. Meaning, these are the only authentic things that go on, things that nobody likes to talk about because it's "weird" or "uncomfortable." But I didn't care about that, after awhile I started paying attention to nothing, but those three parts of me. I began living in my mind and started observing everything around me, my experiences, my emotions, my thoughts, all of it. The things that teach us about who we are, that nobody ever tells us to pay attention to. I began to find the things that made me feel at peace. Meditation is and will always play a vital role in my growth, along with reading, writing, creative expression, yoga, fitness, anything that brought me to my natural state without any distraction. These are the things I live for. It's sometimes difficult to remember that the present is all that we need to focus on, but that is my daily mantra that reminds me of who I am again, or perhaps of who I'm not. Life isn't about attaching yourself to things or people, but instead detaching and unbecoming who you once thought you were. Don't limit yourself with boundaries or labels, you are limitless, we all are. We just need someone to remind us. Give meaning to your journey because at the end of the day, you get to decide.

Life Can Change in an Instant

Friday night I was driving back into San Diego from my hometown. It was pouring rain, but I had driven in the rain many times before so I didn't think this time would be any different. After almost 6 hours of driving I had finally arrived, passing the 'San Diego City Limit' sign. My back was already bothering me, along with my badly sprained ankle which I hurt almost a week ago playing basketball. I was listening and rapping along to one of my favorite songs, "That's How I Knew" by Nipsey Hussle. That's when a huge puddle of water hit my windshield (which is frightening in itself when driving in the pouring and windy rain) and immediately, the car driving to my right swerved so hard into my car it caused significant damage and caused the door airbags to deploy pushing me into the other lane. I was thrown to the left side of my car, literally comparable to being tackled by what felt like a 200 lb person. At the quickest moment that I was able to form a thought, it was 'this is it.'After that, I honestly can't remember how I managed to drive to the median wall, my mind and heart were racing so fast, I was in shock. 

The only thing I kept thinking was how blessed I was to be alive and how there was no doubt I was being protected. I consider myself to be very aware and understanding of many things. But there was something about having my life flash before my eyes that allowed me to dig deeper. My perspective changed in what seemed like, no time. At that moment, everything that once seemed to matter no longer did. All the little silly negative things that we give importance to became insignificant. All of my fears became insignificant. Everything that was holding me back became insignificant. We always hear "Life is short", but last night I didn't realize just how short that meant. 

I have never been so happy to be alive. In one night I learned something worth a lifetime. I felt like after this happened I needed to spread that message to you all. Stop allowing fear of things to hold you back, do what makes you happy!!!!!!!!!!! Make the move, start something new, show the world the authentic you, take the job, go on that trip, fall in love, make time for yourself, get better at things you enjoy, get out and enjoy nature, connect with those you love, laugh more, complain less, search inside yourself and find your purpose, and follow your heart. It's time to start living. Eliminate things in your life that don't contribute to your growth, reach your goals, have fun in everything you do. Do everything and anything, because why not? Choose happiness. Choose to love. Choose to encourage, embrace, shine light, and find the beauty and blessing everywhere you go. Tonight I am more thankful than I have ever been for everyone and everything in my life. I'm ready for anything. I am living in the present moment, now more than ever before. The world is truly ours. Peace out for now. 

Love, 

Me. 

New Year Vibes

With the new year comes many emotions, but most of all, excitement! 2016 was definitely a year of growing, learning, reflecting, and transformation-- which are all blessings on their own. Now that we are entering a new year it is important that we shed all of the past to create more space for peace, love, abundance, and our desires. This means forgiving those who you hold ill feelings towards, quitting bad habits, changing your perspective on situations that cause you stress or negativity, and eliminating anything else that doesn't contribute to your peace and happiness. Leave all of the drama, negativity, gossip, and bad energy in the past where it belongs. If you choose to harbor hate or any type of negative towards yourself or others, it will continue to follow you until you decide to learn from it and move on.


For me, the new year always brings in this strong wave of positive energy allowing me to reflect on the past year and take the lessons learned and apply them into the new year. However, this is something I do throughout the year, not only when it's celebrated. It is important that we learn to become more mindful of ways we can improve ourselves so that it can become a habit of checking and balancing ourselves. I love the idea that the new year brings transformation with the "new year, new me" trend, but too many of us only use this one day and forget about the other 364 days. You should be able to embrace change throughout the year, allowing yourself to shed parts of you that no longer serve you good. Essentially, this means being able to hold yourself accountable for the things that happen in your life and for your actions. The only way you will be able to improve and elevate your life is by taking responsibility for the state of your life, as that is a reflection of the state of your mind.

The other day, I was thinking a lot about how we live our lives completely blind to the fact that the only real enemy you have is yourself. I think it's silly when people talk about having enemies because the only reason they are your "enemy" is due to the fact that you are allowing them to hold that title and you're giving them that power over you. At the end of the day, the only person that truly defeats us, holds us back, speaks negatively to us, and controls the way we feel, is ourself. Once you realize this and apply it to your mind, you will begin to see just how much we battle with ourself when it comes to emotions, beliefs, and actions. However, knowing this is and actually living by it are two different things. When you live your life knowing you're the only person that can hinder your growth, you will never allow yourself to go back to your old ways of thinking. You begin living life the way it's supposed to be lived, a life undefeated. This isn't always an easy thing to do because it requires taking accountability for everything in your life and constantly reflecting on how to better yourself in almost every aspect, but in the end you realize it's one of the best things you could ever do for yourself. So before we go through some new years' resolutions, at the top of the list should be acknowledgment that life is only, ever, You vs. You!

 In 2017 let's strive not to become someone different or to change who we are, but only to become the best version of ourself. Sometimes we set goals for ourselves that aren't reflective of who we are or that are unrealistic. It's important that we know ourselves well enough to be able to create intentions that will only better ourselves physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally--all within range to be achieved.

Moving forward and living by this in the new year, we are now able to manifest our intentions and do anything we set our mind to. Let's not even refer to them as resolutions, but instead as intentions. To resolve something means to find a solution to a problem. We must not see our life as needing to be solved or as problematic. The way you experienced the past year was necessary for your growth in life. Now is a time to reflect on the ups and downs, lessons and blessings, and to learn from your accomplishments and from your mistakes. I encourage you to create achievable and realistic intentions, positive transformations, and to realize the power you have in creating the life you want to live just by turning on the mental switch of becoming more aware and mindful. We don't need to wait miraculously to make a change only when the calendar flips, we should have intentions (resolutions) every single day, intentions can be small decisions that we make to enhance the way we live. Visualize yourself better everyday and you will slowly begin to reflect that with ease and comfort.

Furthermore, it's vital to our growth this year that we become more confident and open-minded to new opportunities that come our way. Let's try to step out of our comfort zone and do something different that we would have never done before, those are often the decisions that lead us to greater heights. We can no longer allow fear of failure or embarrassment to linger in the back of our minds, like they often do. Find gratitude in all that you have and everything you are, only then will you be able to achieve the intentions you set forth. Desire, ego, or greed should never be at the center of our intentions because those are not qualities that are representative of positive manifestations. In addition, take the time to write down the things you would like to wash your hands of from 2016--things about yourself or within your environment that are keeping you from being the best you. Now write down all that you can do to improve yourself as an individual; implement consistent actions in your life that will reflect a conscious effort towards your intentions.

Let's no longer be bothered by the little things, but instead appreciate and fall in love with them. Let's choose to view our problems from a different perspective, transforming them into tools for growth. Let us value and love ourselves so much that we no longer allow toxic relationships to thrive. Stop spending your time envying or hating on others, because that only magnifies your insecurity. Trust yourself and your intuition to guide you only to things that serve a purpose in your life. Allow others to teach you and don't be hesitant in learning new things. Practice mindfulness, as it is something that will truly change your life it you let it. Pray more, worry less. Practice meditation. Read more books and do more research on things that matter. Connect with nature. Express gratitude and unleash your creativity. Spend your money on experiences. No longer take things for granted. Realize needing nothing, attracts everything. Be more health conscious as to what foods you put in your body and drink more water. Take care of your mind first, then your body and spirit. Our mind is at the center of everything we do and comes first in all--it's essential that we know this and pay attention to our thoughts and cultivate positive mindsets in any given situation.

May this year be filled with nothing but peace, love, positivity, financial abundance, good music, good food, friends and family, new opportunities, and everything good that life has to offer. I hope that you all take the good that came from 2016 with you on your journey this new year. Remember, at the end of the day we are all on the same mission, to be happy. So do what makes you happy and continue to shine your light on those who come in and out of your life. Do not dwell on the past and do not worry about the future. Live in the moment because that's all that ever is. Let's make 2017 one to remember! Happy New Year!

 P.S. Below I have included an intention exercise for the new year, try it out!