Know Yourself

Who are you? A question we so rarely ask ourselves, yet has such a defining impact on our lives. What are your goals and aspirations? What do you enjoy? What are your fears? What are your strengths and what are your weaknesses? What makes you smile and laugh? What makes you cry?

We often go through life labeling ourselves to a particular group or culture and we let ourselves become influenced and pressured into being someone we're not. Be yourself--such a cliche statement however, vital to your mental, physical, and spiritual well-being.

Though, sometimes it is difficult for some of us to be ourselves due to the fact that we are so unaware of who we are as an individual. And you may think you know yourself so well, but I'm here to tell you that you don't. You don't know who you are--you may know who you have become based off of outside influences, people, and environments...but this is different from who you are.

Getting to know your true self requires a deeper level of desire and understanding within. Who you are, is everything about yourself, minus anything and everything that you use to identify yourself with. Furthermore, many times we define or identify ourselves relative to our experiences. However, experiences aren't meant to define us, but rather teach us lessons and help us to grow and evolve to a 'better' us. For example, when you ask the question "Who are you?" to most people, you will get answers like "police officer, mom, basketball player, CEO, student, actor" and sometimes you'll even come across some such as, "rape victim, alcoholic, orphan, criminal." Those are just some examples of how some people choose to identify themselves, based off of experiences. Some people take pride in these labels or are shameful, however getting to know yourself isn't about being prideful or shameful, it's about being truthful and allowing yourself to live honestly.

If you live your entire life based on these identities you confine yourself to self-built walls. When you place these labels on yourself, you are completely throwing out the window, the opportunity of finding out who you are. You place limits on yourself, when in fact, you are limitless. These boundaries you allow are ultimately hindering you from reaching your full potential. In my opinion, one shouldn't identify with your experiences; you are then only going to continue to let them define you. I'm not saying experiences are bad, but they definitely aren't all good. An individual who may have once been a victim in the past, although pain endured, should not let their past and victimization lay the path for their future and who they are as a person--which many people do. However, it is important to acknowledge it and use it as a tool to grow and move on. Now, let's spin it the other way even if you are the most accomplished individual in the world, that doesn't necessarily define you as an individual. If all of these things on the outside were taken away, who would you be?

Knowing yourself requires much more observing and seeking, above just the physical. A lot of us pass through life unhappy because we don't consciously choose who we are or what we are, we rather just allow ourselves to be framed by the outside world. I'm sure you've heard people say "I need to find myself" or "I need to figure out who I am"--which isn't as cliche as it sounds. The majority of us truly don't know who we are, and that's not a bad thing--but it definitely doesn't work against you if you try and figure it out. Benefits only.

Observing the way your mind and thoughts develop is the first step of getting to know who you are. Many people think who you are is that 'little voice in your head'--but contrary to popular belief, you are actually a step above that little voice. And the reason I conclude to this is because many, many times that little voice in your head tells you bad things, thinks bad thoughts, gets depressed, isn't motivated, and often takes us down the wrong path. That little voice in your head is the voice that's been conditioned by its environment and lives to impress and appease others. That little voice sometimes doesn't speak to us in our best interest--for example, I don't know about you, but sometimes that little voice in my head thinks scary things or bad things that I definitely don't agree with or want to manifest. That is the moment I realized that the little voice wasn't me. The real me doesn't want to be afraid or want bad things to happen. The real me wants to be happy and feel good 24/7. The real me is the consciousness that observes this little voice--it observes these negative thoughts and doesn't allow them to snowball and make me feel bad or sad, the real me makes the effort to be myself, do good things, and be happy.

The most liberating thing I have experienced in life was the moment I finally realized I wasn't the person I thought I was my entire life. Something we all are gifted with the opportunity to do. I was someone brand new. Someone different and someone who is able to do, be, and think whatever they wanted. So often, we feel like we are obligated to stay the same to make people happy--but that is so far from the truth. We are not obligated to be the same person we were a year ago, a month ago, or even a few minutes ago. The whole point of life is to grow, change, and better yourself. I realized that I am shapeless, formless, and no longer confined to the walls I had built up around me. I no longer had an expectation of who I should be, rather I just was. I no longer had the aim to please anyone, I now put myself first and appreciate the ability to know I can live without feeling like I am living up to an expectation. Once you learn that you are capable of living like this, you no longer deceive yourself or try and hide the way you feel or things you think--instead, you acknowledge them and observe them without judging yourself for it. You become transparent and therefore, allow yourself to grow. You're able to evolve because you are now aware and conscious of your existence, which consists of the actions, thoughts, and beliefs which once shaped who you thought you were. You are now able to improve yourself in every aspect and you actually have the desire to do so because you now know that you can.

Before this realization, I was completely blind to the idea that I was able to control everything about myself; I used to let people have power over me, something that many of us don't realize we allow. I let people guide and influence my actions, decisions, and feelings. I allowed them to make me mad, sad, irritated, and even happy. And you're probably wondering why I threw happy in there, but that's because you can't give someone or something power over your happiness. I have learned that you are the only person who can allow yourself happiness, as it is something that manifests from within. We live our whole lives searching for things to make us happy and when we get them, we believe we are finally happy--but only for a short period, until we desire something else. It then becomes a cycle of constantly seeking happiness from outside things and labels, when all this time it comes from internal and not external factors. It is your natural state of being. That is the real you--the one who wants to be happy, not the one who tries to be something you're not.

Getting to know myself was definitely a process and it didn't happen overnight. But, it all stemmed from the desire of wanting more in life for myself. I knew there was more to the life I was living before. Previously, I was just going through the motions--now, I create the motions. Who am I? I am everything and anything I want to be. I am happy. I am blessed. I am motivated. I am me and nobody else, and that's the greatest thing about life. There is nobody else like you, so be yourself and don't feel the need to identify as somebody you're not. That is what makes us all great.

Now, who are you?