Stop Living in Fear & Embrace Change

Hey everybody!!! I'm back! I haven't blogged in awhile and I really haven't come up with an excuse for my writers' block. But I will begin by saying, I am thankful to all of you for actually reading my posts and really hope I am able to get through to at least one person with my blogging. I began this blog for multiple reasons. First, for me. One of my goals was to share my experiences and lessons with people in life--and it just so happens I also enjoy writing, so here we are! However, second and most importantly, I did this for you...yes YOU! Why, you ask? Well simply because I believe we are all put on earth to help each other, care for each other, and share our lessons and experiences with each other, all in order to grow. There is not one person on the planet that has acquired the same amount of knowledge and facts as another person--so why don't we use that to our advantage and share the love, lessons, and experiences so that we can all live to become the greatest version of ourselves?!

Recently, I conclude that I have just been observing and note-taking the things that go on in my life, in others', and all around the world. There is so much going on around the globe and domestically, it is sometimes hard to just sit back, take a breath, and remember we are alive. There have been many troubling events that have happened recently that have invoked fear in millions and even more fear in those who already concur. In regards to these events, I just want to say, don't be afraid. Of course fear is justified under these circumstances, however that is the easy way out. Anyone can be afraid. Not everyone has the willpower and mindset to look past fear and break down the wall in order to accomplish change and awareness. In addition, when we are afraid, we often react off of emotion and many times we regret our reaction. When we are afraid we hurt people, we don't allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we don't see the bigger picture, and in the end the person we end up hurting the most, is ourself. I'm not saying it isn't okay to be scared, all I'm saying is that we need to step up and be the change--be that person that those in fear can look to for peace, compassion, and logic in tough situations. If we were all living in fear, the world would be crazier than it already is. Fear invokes war, insecurity, pain, anger, and a handful of other emotions that don't serve us well.

Although fear is something that instinctively makes associations to keep us from harm, it also is something that we have been conditioned to feel in MANY circumstances. There is much science behind the psychology of fear that I won't get into, but is definitely something you should educate yourself on if you haven't already learned about it in school.

There may be many of you who deny your fear of certain things, but the perfect contradiction to that argument is your action and reaction to situations that involve necessary change for growth. Many who continue to proclaim, "I'm not afraid of anything" are most often the people who are AFRAID to admit that they are afraid!! Isn't that ironic??? However, it is nothing to be ashamed of. If anything, you should be glad to know this and instead work towards a solution to this little misunderstanding. The best thing to know in times of fear is that you are not alone. There a millions of people who are afraid of millions of things--few out of our control, but many in our control! Often times getting rid of fear involves one simple act, however we refuse and won't allow ourselves to take that first step towards change and progress.


There are infinite fears that exist within our world. Some people are afraid of death, which is very plausible if they are in a life or death situation. However, many of the fears that we hold involve disrupting our "happiness", but if you've learned anything from me you know that happiness comes from within and that not one thing or person can truly bring you happiness unless you allow it. Many of us are afraid of getting out of an unhappy relationship because we are afraid nobody else will want us. We are afraid of: moving somewhere new, meeting new people, falling in love, having people dislike us, sharks, eating healthy, learning new things, getting in shape, spending money, getting hurt, the list is truly never-ending!

Now, some of these things don't sound all that bad, but people really live their entire lives afraid to step out of their comfort zone. I've been there and I bet many of you are too. By living in fear, you only attract more fear into your life because that is the energy that you have chosen to focus on. This is why those who are afraid, have been afraid of many things for most of their existence--the same way negative people continuously attract negative things into their life, there is no exception with any other emotion. What you focus on grows in your life, and if you choose to focus on the fear of things rather than all the growth, change, and progress--then you aren't doing it right. Life is too short to be afraid.

It is essential for our happiness, health, wealth, freedom, and mind that we unlearn all of the things we have been conditioned to fear in order to live a happy and limitless life. We must break down the walls we have put up for ourselves. Be the leader and let people know that fear only holds them back from what could be. Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world. Don't let fear defeat you and all that you want in life. Hope is the only one thing stronger than fear, so have hope. Replace any fear you hold with the desire for something better. Many of your fears may be subconscious, so figuring them out may involve some looking in the mirror and a little soul
searching--but that's okay because that is the only way you can truly grow as an individual.

Whenever you find yourself afraid, that is the perfect moment to make a change. Change should never be feared, but instead welcomed. Without change, nothing in the world would ever grow or blossom and nobody would ever move forward. Stand up for yourself and don't fall for the tricks your mind plays on you. Be aware of your thoughts and how they make you feel. Emotion is impossible without first, a thought. Therefore, fear is impossible without first, a thought to manifest it. Embrace change and allow it to mold you into the person you want to be.

There is no progress without change. So we must no longer fear the unknown, me must live in the moment and not fret about what may go wrong. It is important that we have hope and confidence in what will be because everything always works itself out the way it's supposed to as long as you're taking the necessary steps and making a change along the way. Always do the right thing for yourself and for others. Not everyone is strong enough to get past their fears, they need to be reminded and encouraged-- be that person in someone's life. Be that person for the world and make a change that people can look up to. This world is designed for us to be afraid, but there is no illusion greater than fear itself. Once you conquer fear, it no longer has power over you--it shrinks and vanishes and then you become who you are meant to be. You change the world because you have changed yourself.

Treat Your Body Like a Temple

Philosopher Jim Rohn once said, "Treat your body like a temple, not a woodshed. The mind and body work together. Your body needs to be a good support system for the mind and spirit. If you take good care of it, your body can take you wherever you want to go, with the power and strength and energy and vitality you will need to get there."

Throughout my twenty years of life, I have learned that taking care of my body is one of the most important things I can do in life. Not everyone has this mindset, considering the way we destroy our bodies and treat it like a waste basket. Think about it--I mean, we are alive and are given this unique body to live in throughout our existence here on earth…don't you think we should pay a little more attention to it and treat it with the care it needs to survive? Essentially, it is what is keeping us alive, after all.

I've decided to share with you guys ten things you can do/don't do, to treat your body right, which will lead to a happier and healthier lifestyle.

1. SLEEP! I can't stress this enough, something we spend half of our lives doing, yet many of us refuse to take advantage of. Sleep is vital in maintaining good health and well-being throughout our lives. Most importantly, sleep helps our brain function properly and give it the rest it needs in order to prepare us for another day. Studies have shown that a good night's sleep helps in learning, paying attention, creativity, and problem-solving. On the other hand, when you don't get enough sleep, it can lead to problems with all of the benefits I named above and has also been linked to depression and suicide. In my opinion, this is a given. We always feel better when we get enough sleep, am I right? In addition, sleep helps our physical well-being in growth and development and healing our bodies, as the immune system relies heavily on sleep to stay healthy. Sleep deficiency has also been linked to increased risk of diabetes, high blood pressure, stroke, heart disease, etc. So next time you think about pulling that all-nighter, think again. 

2. If you smoke tobacco, please STOP! We've all been made aware of the negative effects of smoking cigarettes, yet it seems like I see a handful of people doing this everyday *sad face*. That's like someone telling you to jump off a cliff, and then you actually doing it. You're literally intaking chemicals that aren't meant to be in your body--there are over 7,000 chemicals, 250 which are known to be harmful, and 69 which are cause cancer. Smoking tobacco also causes over 470,000 premature deaths in the U.S. each year! 470,000!!! WTF! Also, not only are you hurting yourself, but also those around you from secondhand smoke. There's over 7,000 lung cancer deaths each year among non-smokers as a result of secondhand smoke. It's also addictive, which can be hard to overcome--but there are so many ways to get the help you need to quit. And I'm sure it's easy not to think about these things while smoking, but it truly is killing you and those around you.

3. Another popular, yet damaging activity--drinking alcohol. Take it easy, pleeeasseeeeeee. I mean, nothing is wrong with having a few drinks every now and then, but damn, some of you just act like this stuff is water! If nobody's ever told you to tone it down on the drinking, well here I am! I used to think drinking was soooo fun, until I became more conscious of what it does to us and our bodies, which definitely outweighs the "benefits". If you're a drinker, then I'm sure you already know alcohol causes blackouts, memory loss, anxiety, vomiting. In the worst cases, it causes cancer, brain damage, heart attack, stroke, etc. It also makes you gain weight, makes both men and women infertile, gives you bad skin, and ruins your mental health. A lot of people I know say they drink to cope with difficult situations and emotions, and that it reduces stress or relieves anxiety, BUT alcohol is actually associated with a load of mental health problems including depression, anxiety, risk-taking behaviour, personality disorders and schizophrenia. Also you don't feel good when you wake up the next morning, if anything alcohol itself let's you know it isn't good for you, but we always go back for more. Honestly, if nothing good comes from it--I stay away. These days, I'm all about bettering myself and trying to reach my goals, and even though drinking may not seem so detrimental, it definitely isn't helping me get to where I want to be. 

4. If you drink anything, it should be that good ol' H2O! Water is a major key to living a healthy life. Over half of our bodies is made up of water, which is why it is so important to drink. Drinking water helps maintain our bodies fluids and functions, helps control calories, energized muscles, promotes healthy skin, gets rid of toxins, and without it you can become dehydrated. Dehydration isn't fun at all, I actually passed out once from being dehydrated--not the greatest memory. I don't remember who it was, and even if I did it wouldn't mention their name, but this girl once told me she didn't like water. It made me laugh, at first I thought she was joking but soon realized she was being completely serious. At that moment, I knew we weren't raising our children right LOL. How can you not like something that you're about 60% made up of AND that keeps you alive…I was so confused, but I'm sure she learned to like it eventually. In high school, I actually made the decision to stop drinking soda and other processed drinks that we often replace for water. One of the best decisions I've ever made! I'm all about that high quality H2O.

5. Eat smart. "You are what you eat, so don't be fast, easy, cheap or fake!" Not sure who said that one, but it sure is true. Ann Wigmore once said, "The food you eat can be either the safest and most powerful form of medicine or the slowest form of poison", which has stuck with me for the past few years as I've made a more conscious effort to eat only what serves me good. Most of us can decipher which foods are unhealthy and which are good for you. Overly processed foods, which are high in saturated fats, salts, refined sugars, preservatives, additives and chemicals, with names you can't pronounce, are not the good guys! Unfortunately, the Western diet consists of most of these things. Many people make the excuses that it's too expensive to eat healthy or they could never do it--but if you truly care about your health and well-being, you will spend a few extra bucks to eat good and feel good. I no longer eat meat (almost a year) and rarely ever indulge in candy or sweets, but I feel the best that I have ever felt, while bettering my health and consuming more fruits and veggies! There are many health risks and cons to eating meat, but that's for another time--I'll let you research it yourself. Overall, I know I have brought my health to greater heights and don't constantly feel disgusted by what I put in my body, like I used to. As an athlete, I used to eat soooo much, probably more than I needed to. I mean, I used to have thirds of every meal, used to eat fast food, candy, chips, sweets, everything under the sun that wasn't good for me. Once I stopped playing sports like I used to, I began to actually see and feel how this food affected me. I learned that I had to start paying attention to what I was putting inside my body, for that is what fuels me. Every now and then I'll have some of my favorite chips, candy, or ice cream feeling no regret, but never like I used to. Some of us eat these things everyday and are unaware of how these "foods" affect our bodies in the long-term. Do some research, learn what's good for you and what isn't. Being more conscious as to what you put in your body is only beneficial. 

6. Take the time to meditate. Everyone I always suggest meditation to never actually tries it, but I promise it will truly change your life if you allow it to. We often find ourselves "too busy" or "stressed out" in life and we fail to recognize our mental health is probably one of the most important keys in keeping us sane. We get so wrapped up in the physical world and forget that there's so much more to reality than what's on the outside. Meditation grounds us in ways that nothing else can and there are so many benefits, it's hard to believe all the good it does and nobody has ever taught us to do it. However, if you think about it, nobody has ever taught us to do many of the things that are beneficial to our well-being-- something to ponder on. Meditation fills us with more energy, while at the same time bringing our brainwave pattern into a relaxed state that promotes healing in our body, mind, and spirit. Meditation makes us aware that our inner being and attitude is the thing that actually determines our happiness. It induces a mode of consciousness where you acknowledge that you can actually control your thoughts, rather than letting them be apart of you. When I explain meditation I tell people that our whole lives we are constantly thinking, no matter what you are doing there are thoughts going in and out of our minds and we were never told that we can actually control the thoughts we have by training our minds to observe rather than react with emotion to those thoughts. One way to stop the flow of thoughts that many of us believe is 'uncontrollable' is by focusing on your breath; while you focus your attention on nothing but your inhale and exhale--it is actually impossible to think of anything…and if you do find yourself thinking about something it's because you have stopped focusing on your breath. Imagine how cool that is, to think of nothing. It's probably one of the most liberating feelings I have ever experienced. Also, it didn't just happen in one try or overnight…just like anything else meditation takes practice, so it's important not to get frustrated. By meditating (being mindful) you will experience a plethora of scientific benefits such as increased energy, decreased stress/anxiety, reduced need for alcohol/substance, improved attention/info processing/decision making, higher pain tolerance, pain relief, memory, mood/psychological well-being, creativity, reduced blood pressure/disease/inflammation, improved relationships/love/empathy, increases compassion, and decreases worry…JUST TO NAME A FEW! Can you believe there are so many more benefits than all I just named off AND they are actually scientifically proven?! One of the coolest benefits in my opinion, is the increased grey matter concentration in the brain, which includes regions of the brain responsible for muscle control, hearing, memory, emotions, speech, decision making, and self-control. 

7. UNPLUG. These days we are so connected to technology with our TVs, phones, tablets, and forms of media right at our fingertips 24/7 that we often become unconscious to the world around us. Technology does have some great benefits that we use everyday and I would never argue against responsible use of it, but it's becoming increasingly obvious that we are developing an unhealthy attachment to it--that some of us don't even realize, which is the sad part. Technology does indeed have a power-off button, we just need to learn how to use it. Unplugging helps decrease feelings of jealousy/envy/loneliness, combats the fear of missing out, gives us time to actually focus on our existence and of others, and brings us back to living in the moment. If you're not living in the moment, you're not living at all. We are constantly missing out on authentic, real, experiences that are happening in front of us everyday and many will never repeat themselves. Also, we are losing our sense of social connection with each other because of the social media world. These days it's hard for people to keep eye-contact or even have a conversation because they don't know how to. It's important that we recognize the need to unplug and however often, is up to you. 

8. Listen to your body. Take the time to have some 'me time' regularly. We rarely allow ourselves the chance to unwind and spend the time doing the things we love because we constantly feel the need to be doing something else. Schedule some regular 'me time' for yourself every so often to de-stress and regroup. This is essential to our happiness and is a chance to refocus on what really matters, you. It could be as simple as meeting a friend for dinner, going to the beach, watching a movie, taking a bath, or spending a relaxing day at the spa. Anything that makes you feel good and allows you the time to relax and have a good time is definitely worthwhile. 

9. Exercise!! This is one of the best things you can do for your body, all you have to do is move it. Yoga is one of my favorite ways to exercise because it's relaxing and it is also a form of meditation. First exercise helps control weight, which is very important to maintain. It also helps combat health conditions and diseases if done regularly. In addition, exercise improves mood and boosts your energy, which is why you always feel so good after working out! It also helps us get a better night's sleep and as long as you have a positive attitude about it, it can be fun! A lot of people I know also workout to release stress and get their mind off things, which is another one of its great benefits!

10. Lastly, keep a gratitude journal. Once you become more aware of your body you will become more aware of the mindset within. Having a positive outlook on life is the foundation for a happy life. Be grateful for everything that has brought you to where you are today. Once a week, or every night (which I suggest) think about all the things you're grateful for and write them down. They can be as small as the sock on your foot, to as big as the home you live in. When you sit down and force yourself to think about and write out all the things you are grateful for in life, you will begin to focus on these things more than you focus on the things you complain about. Gradually you will get to a point in life where you no longer think about things you're without, but rather appreciate all that you have. Too often we choose to focus on the negatives in life and complain about things that are so insignificant in the bigger scheme of things. A gratitude journal will help ground us and help us to be more thankful for the many blessings we have, yet often forget about. 

These are ten things I do to treat my body like a temple! There are countless more you can try, which all lead to a happier and healthier life for yourself and those around you. It is important with all the negativity in the world, to be a person that spreads light, positivity, and to overall be a proliferator of good vibes. Start today, make a change, start treating yourself the way you deserve to be treated! Love yourself, take care of yourself, for you are the most important thing in your life! 

Know Yourself

Who are you? A question we so rarely ask ourselves, yet has such a defining impact on our lives. What are your goals and aspirations? What do you enjoy? What are your fears? What are your strengths and what are your weaknesses? What makes you smile and laugh? What makes you cry?

We often go through life labeling ourselves to a particular group or culture and we let ourselves become influenced and pressured into being someone we're not. Be yourself--such a cliche statement however, vital to your mental, physical, and spiritual well-being.

Though, sometimes it is difficult for some of us to be ourselves due to the fact that we are so unaware of who we are as an individual. And you may think you know yourself so well, but I'm here to tell you that you don't. You don't know who you are--you may know who you have become based off of outside influences, people, and environments...but this is different from who you are.

Getting to know your true self requires a deeper level of desire and understanding within. Who you are, is everything about yourself, minus anything and everything that you use to identify yourself with. Furthermore, many times we define or identify ourselves relative to our experiences. However, experiences aren't meant to define us, but rather teach us lessons and help us to grow and evolve to a 'better' us. For example, when you ask the question "Who are you?" to most people, you will get answers like "police officer, mom, basketball player, CEO, student, actor" and sometimes you'll even come across some such as, "rape victim, alcoholic, orphan, criminal." Those are just some examples of how some people choose to identify themselves, based off of experiences. Some people take pride in these labels or are shameful, however getting to know yourself isn't about being prideful or shameful, it's about being truthful and allowing yourself to live honestly.

If you live your entire life based on these identities you confine yourself to self-built walls. When you place these labels on yourself, you are completely throwing out the window, the opportunity of finding out who you are. You place limits on yourself, when in fact, you are limitless. These boundaries you allow are ultimately hindering you from reaching your full potential. In my opinion, one shouldn't identify with your experiences; you are then only going to continue to let them define you. I'm not saying experiences are bad, but they definitely aren't all good. An individual who may have once been a victim in the past, although pain endured, should not let their past and victimization lay the path for their future and who they are as a person--which many people do. However, it is important to acknowledge it and use it as a tool to grow and move on. Now, let's spin it the other way even if you are the most accomplished individual in the world, that doesn't necessarily define you as an individual. If all of these things on the outside were taken away, who would you be?

Knowing yourself requires much more observing and seeking, above just the physical. A lot of us pass through life unhappy because we don't consciously choose who we are or what we are, we rather just allow ourselves to be framed by the outside world. I'm sure you've heard people say "I need to find myself" or "I need to figure out who I am"--which isn't as cliche as it sounds. The majority of us truly don't know who we are, and that's not a bad thing--but it definitely doesn't work against you if you try and figure it out. Benefits only.

Observing the way your mind and thoughts develop is the first step of getting to know who you are. Many people think who you are is that 'little voice in your head'--but contrary to popular belief, you are actually a step above that little voice. And the reason I conclude to this is because many, many times that little voice in your head tells you bad things, thinks bad thoughts, gets depressed, isn't motivated, and often takes us down the wrong path. That little voice in your head is the voice that's been conditioned by its environment and lives to impress and appease others. That little voice sometimes doesn't speak to us in our best interest--for example, I don't know about you, but sometimes that little voice in my head thinks scary things or bad things that I definitely don't agree with or want to manifest. That is the moment I realized that the little voice wasn't me. The real me doesn't want to be afraid or want bad things to happen. The real me wants to be happy and feel good 24/7. The real me is the consciousness that observes this little voice--it observes these negative thoughts and doesn't allow them to snowball and make me feel bad or sad, the real me makes the effort to be myself, do good things, and be happy.

The most liberating thing I have experienced in life was the moment I finally realized I wasn't the person I thought I was my entire life. Something we all are gifted with the opportunity to do. I was someone brand new. Someone different and someone who is able to do, be, and think whatever they wanted. So often, we feel like we are obligated to stay the same to make people happy--but that is so far from the truth. We are not obligated to be the same person we were a year ago, a month ago, or even a few minutes ago. The whole point of life is to grow, change, and better yourself. I realized that I am shapeless, formless, and no longer confined to the walls I had built up around me. I no longer had an expectation of who I should be, rather I just was. I no longer had the aim to please anyone, I now put myself first and appreciate the ability to know I can live without feeling like I am living up to an expectation. Once you learn that you are capable of living like this, you no longer deceive yourself or try and hide the way you feel or things you think--instead, you acknowledge them and observe them without judging yourself for it. You become transparent and therefore, allow yourself to grow. You're able to evolve because you are now aware and conscious of your existence, which consists of the actions, thoughts, and beliefs which once shaped who you thought you were. You are now able to improve yourself in every aspect and you actually have the desire to do so because you now know that you can.

Before this realization, I was completely blind to the idea that I was able to control everything about myself; I used to let people have power over me, something that many of us don't realize we allow. I let people guide and influence my actions, decisions, and feelings. I allowed them to make me mad, sad, irritated, and even happy. And you're probably wondering why I threw happy in there, but that's because you can't give someone or something power over your happiness. I have learned that you are the only person who can allow yourself happiness, as it is something that manifests from within. We live our whole lives searching for things to make us happy and when we get them, we believe we are finally happy--but only for a short period, until we desire something else. It then becomes a cycle of constantly seeking happiness from outside things and labels, when all this time it comes from internal and not external factors. It is your natural state of being. That is the real you--the one who wants to be happy, not the one who tries to be something you're not.

Getting to know myself was definitely a process and it didn't happen overnight. But, it all stemmed from the desire of wanting more in life for myself. I knew there was more to the life I was living before. Previously, I was just going through the motions--now, I create the motions. Who am I? I am everything and anything I want to be. I am happy. I am blessed. I am motivated. I am me and nobody else, and that's the greatest thing about life. There is nobody else like you, so be yourself and don't feel the need to identify as somebody you're not. That is what makes us all great.

Now, who are you?

Confidence is Key

According to Merriam-Webster confidence is defined as: a feeling or consciousness of one's powers or of reliance on one's circumstances.

Confidence is the feeling or belief that you can do something, succeed at something, that something will happen, or that something is true.

Confidence is key is any situation. It's a frame of mind that allows you to reach your highest potential. When you are confident in yourself and of your journey, you are optimistic--and when you are optimistic you are invincible to nothing, but yourself.

Having confidence is yourself is truly the foundation of success. Believing that I am capable and of highest regards keeps me motivated to do anything I desire.

When you are confident, you have no fear of the unknown. You refuse to create fear in your mind of what doesn't serve your best interest. When you are confident, you pay no mind to what others think of you. We often allow ourselves to fall victim and throw our confidence out the window because we are afraid of the outcome or fear the judgement of others.

However, this lack of confidence ultimately does NOTHING for us, except hinder our growth, success, and optimism.

Learn to trust yourself. Believe in yourself. You are the most important person in your life, so it's necessary that you have faith in everything that you are and will be. If you can't trust yourself, who can you trust?

Recognize that you are the shit (when it comes to figures of speech). You were perfectly created to be exactly who you are and equipped with everything you need to succeed at anything you pursue in life. You just have to allow yourself to find that confidence within.

Be confident in your own skin. Don't compare yourself to others; we do this so much as humans and it really makes no logical sense. It is impossible to be anyone, but yourself--so stop the envy and jealousy, for this is only an illusion we create in our mind that serves us no good. You are you and that's all there is to it. You are beautiful and capable once you see yourself as such--not because someone says so.

You are smart because you trust your intelligence, instinct, and seek knowledge--not because you score well on a test or get good grades.

You are successful because you are continuously meeting your goals in life--not because there is a measurement for success in life.

Someone can tell you these things and feed you compliments over and over, but if you don't believe them yourself,
they have no value. You have to believe that you are everything wonderful, and you will be.

We get so caught up in doubt, fear, and uncertainty within ourselves that we forget all the greatness we are truly capable of

We forget how we are unique in every single way. There is literally no one person out there who is you, but yourself. Nobody has the same DNA, genetic makeup, features, qualities, knowledge, wisdom, experience, or perception that you do. Now, in my opinion, that's a pretty big deal. Appreciate that you are 1 of 1.

Instead of focusing on your fears, flaws, and fumbles in life--focus on how those things have shaped you and allowed you to grow into the CONFIDENT person you are today.

Only you have the power to award yourself with confidence and it all starts with the way you look at yourself and your circumstances.

I am everything that I am meant to be. I am perfect in my own way. I am capable of anything.

Your mind will believe anything you tell it. Nourish it with faith, truth, and love.

Do Good, and Good Will Come Back To You

I am a firm believer in the truth that if you do good, good will come back to you. And to clarify this phrase--not only do good, but also think good thoughts and say good things. And the reason I refer to this as the truth is not because I woke up one day and decided it was, but because I have realized that through experience and lessons learned that there is no other way to live.

I have been thinking about this a lot lately because so many people fail to realize that this is truly the only way to attract good and positivity into your life. Through the observation of many people such as: strangers, friends, and family--I have realized that those who judge, hate, criticize, speak negatively, complain, and continue to think and do 'bad' things, are those who continuously lead unhappy lives. This is because they have chosen not to allow themselves to do good, think good, and speak good. When someone decides not to do such, they are essentially denying themselves the opportunity to live a happy and prosperous life. A flower cannot grow, if you choose not to water it.

When you begin to live in alignment with love, positivity, and compassion through your actions, thoughts, and words--your life becomes to reflect as such.

Start complimenting people, be happy for their success, help others, essentially DO GOOD. You will begin to see that in doing so, you attract all the energy that you put out into the world. The moment you start to eliminate negativity from your mind, heart, and words--you immediately start to cultivate a space within, where your happiness can't be shaken because everyone knows 'you reap what you sow'.

If you are someone who feels like they have nothing going for them and thinks that they are unworthy or incapable of living a good and happy life--you must first and foremost, IMMEDIATELY eliminate that thought and feeling from your space. For that thought and feeling of pessimism only continues to attract such--that negativity you are giving life through those thoughts and emotions is ultimately the thing keeping you from even beginning the process of living a good life.

Once you change your perception, a space within opens up for more good to grow eventually leading to greater opportunity. You will gradually learn that all you had to do was live in alignment with what you desire--that being, all good things life has to offer. It's really simple, yet some of us have such a hard time because we are unable to see that we can control our thoughts and actions in order to mirror the life we want.

Some can agree that the quote, "Learn to see the good in everything" is cliche--but it couldn't be any more true. Once you teach yourself to look at the positives instead of the negatives (something we've been conditioned to do the opposite of), you will notice that as your perception shifts, you are allowing yourself to now see them and act upon them. They have been there all along, we've just been blinded by the idea that we have no control in attracting the good that comes to us.

Many people believe in the ideas of luck or coincidence. However, I have learned that there is no such thing of either. Good things don't happen to you because you got lucky or because 'it just so happens' that this perfect event occurred with no logical reason. Rather, good things happen to you because you consciously made a decision to do good, see good, and think good thoughts--ultimately, resulting in an
abundance of good for you to be happy about!

Love Yourself and Get Rid of Insecurity

Having insecurities is a blessing and a curse. They are a blessing if you know how to grow from them, but a curse if you only stay a victim to them. In my opinion, most of us are victims of our insecurities. In addition, they often don't serve us any good because so many of us are unaware as to how to alter the way we feel about them.

Too often we let our insecurities get the best of us. We let them ruin friendships, relationships, jobs, opportunities--the list goes on. They cause you to continuously have a sense of void or needing to be something, somebody else, or to be validated for your actions. However, instead we need to learn to embrace our insecurities in order to better ourselves and learn to love ourselves unconditionally. Once we are able to identify them as they are, we then gain the ability to turn those weaknesses into strengths. 

Furthermore, many people can't admit or are often unaware of their lack of love for themselves, which is a very important aspect of being insecure. Everyone always says, "love yourself" blah blah blah. However, nobody ever really sits you down and tells you exactly what that means. They don't teach you in school how to love yourself, and I'm sure if they did many of us wouldn't even take the course because a large percentage of us are unconscious to the fact that we actually, don't love ourselves. Why? Most likely because we aren't even sure how to.

Loving yourself means refraining from judgement because you know you're not perfect. Loving yourself means being comfortable with the actions of others and not letting their words or actions disturb your peace. It means that you are filled with confidence and strength in everything that you do. When you love yourself unconditionally, it means that you want nothing, but love and greatness for yourself as well as others. So in turn, you reject anything or anyone that doesn't value you, the way that you value yourself. It means that you are so comfortable and secure with yourself in all aspects that you don't desire anything or anyone to make you feel complete. When you learn to love yourself, you learn that you are deserving of all good things life has to offer and that nothing has the power to get in the way of your happiness. 

So often, we as humans enjoy pointing out other peoples' flaws or mistakes, but always fail to look in the mirror and recognize our own. This is a huge sign that many of us aren't yet capable of loving ourselves. We get extremely caught up and so distracted by this, that many of us don't even realize that we're guilty of it. 

Just imagine if we spent the same amount of time that we do worrying or talking about other people--and rather focused that energy on ourselves. Can you imagine how much better we would be as individuals? If we loved ourselves so much that we focused more on how to fix and better ourselves, rather than on others we would all have the potential to be so great. 

A lot of the time, insecurity becomes a huge subject when it comes to relationships. If you are in a relationship, I'm sure many can relate when I say, we often blame our partner for everything or make them feel bad about things that they probably already recognize--rather than take responsibility for the way we feel. 

However, just like everyone else-- including you, they will also make mistakes and shouldn't be criticized and judged by someone who loves them. When you learn to love yourself, you begin to want the same for them. Wouldn't you love to see your partner embrace their flaws, mistakes, and insecurities in order to grow and learn from them? When you begin pointing the finger, you do the complete opposite and instead hinder their growth rather than promote it. Although it may be coming from a place of no harm, recognize that you don't enjoy the feeling of being criticized by someone who doesn't have all of their shit together either. 

When you're constantly criticizing, arguing, and blaming others for your unhappiness--you have let yourself become a victim of your own insecurities. You, and only you are responsible for your thoughts, actions, and ultimate happiness. Loving yourself means allowing yourself to be happy, which can only be accomplished by letting go of all the thoughts and feelings that don't promote that happiness. Once you begin complaining, reacting off of emotion, and pointing the finger--you have forgotten what it means. 

Start by forgetting what others think. Forget what they think about you, your job, your appearance, your financial situation, your relationship, the list is never-ending. In the end, you have no control over the way people view you. There are always going to be those who don't like you or judge you from afar, but you can't live your life worrying about what others think of you. So many people live their lives trying to be a people-pleaser in hopes that everyone will like them, only to find out that in the end it caused them to be everything, but happy. 

In addition, focus more on yourself from now on. Learn things about yourself and lessons from yourself. Begin to be aware of your emotions. Learn what types of things or which people trigger you to be happy, mad, sad, or otherwise. Once you begin to recognize and learn these things about yourself--rather than be a victim of your emotions, you will instead learn to control them and understand the importance of consciously recognizing them and the reason they arise. This will further lead to your ability of gaining a higher emotional intelligence.

For example, let's say something someone does makes you very angry. First of all, I'm sure we can all agree that we don't enjoy being angry. So if you have no choice, but to be around this person all the time and they continue to make you mad--once you become aware that whatever it is that they do makes you mad, are you going to continue to let it anger you every time? Now that would just be crazy, to be aware of something that makes you mad, only to continue to let it bother you over and over again. Most people would say that instead of handling the situation within and learning to let the anger go, they would choose to confront or scold this person for their action. 

However, this goes back to pointing the finger and blaming others for the way you feel, when ultimately you are the only person truly capable of controlling your emotions. Now the same goes, when I say you also won't like everybody--and you don't have to, it's natural to not get along with everyone. But you can't live your whole life sitting around waiting to nag everyone about something they do, and at the same time expect to live a happy life. The two aren't in parallel, it just doesn't make sense. 

Another thing we should all learn to do is to try and stop complaining so much. We love to complain about anything and everything; the weather, our job, our money, etc. Complaining is a sign of insecurity in ANY situation. Try and be more conscious and aware of when you are in an uncomfortable situation where you feel the urge to complain. Now, rather than complain--just recognize it and evaluate and reflect as to why you feel uncomfortable with it. Notice how much better you'll feel and how much happier you become when you learn to eliminate complaining from your life. If you can control it, change it or do something about it--if it's out of your control, let it go and don't worry about it anymore. 

Once you rid yourself of insecurity and instead turn it into a tool for growth, you will be better suited to love not only yourself unconditionally, but others as well. Although it is still an ongoing process, nobody told me these things, I had to learn on my own and from my past. 

Not all of us will mirror the same insecurities or situations, however these are some important lessons I have learned from observing my own, as well as other peoples' experiences--as I find them the key to living a happy and peaceful life. 

Once you learn to see the beauty of everything about yourself, you will also begin to see the beauty in everyone and everything surrounding you. 

Spend Time Doing Things You Love

If you're anything like me, you feel like you always have to be doing something. I'm always trying to figure out the next task I have to finish or I momentarily stress over deadlines I have to meet. It takes a lot for me to just sit back and chill.

However, I have learned that is sometimes exactly what I need to do. I love being productive and doing things that better myself, but after taking some time for myself I realized that I actually need to put aside some time to enjoy life and spend time with people I normally wouldn't have time for.

It's important that in the process of meeting your goals, you spend time having fun, living life, and surrounding yourself with people who are just as goal-oriented as you are. Although I love working towards my bigger picture, after spending so much time doing so, I slowly recognized my need for a little fun.

Now, there's nothing wrong with going out and having fun--but for me, I just don't always like being around people or doing things that aren't looking out for my best interest. Now, not all people enjoy doing the things I have learned to appreciate, but the few that do are definitely friends for life.

Traveling is one of the things that I have learned to love. Although I love being in the comfort of my own home, I have also learned that it's important to step out of my comfort zone--see things I haven't seen, go places where I've never been, meet interesting people that I wouldn't have met otherwise. These are the little experiences that add that much more to this thing we call life.

I'm pretty good at balancing my work load, but I know some of us get really stressed out over things we have to do, or worry about things that are out of our control. During this time is when you need to make time for yourself, because you are your biggest investment--so, invest in a little time for yourself, even if it's only for an hour. Let yourself take a break, relax, have fun, travel.

We often get so caught up in work, relationships, finances, and the countless other things that we should never have to worry about. All of these things should serve you, not the other way around. Don't let these aspects of life control you. Once you get to the point where you're being affected negatively, no matter at what level--take a break. All of those things don't become important anymore once your happiness, health, and peace become disturbed.

However, some of us take a break to distract ourselves from the things we have to handle. It's important to recognize the difference of distraction and vacation. I personally don't do things to distract myself from what I have to do. I like to handle my business, put in some work in whatever it is that I have to do--then I reward myself with some time for myself. For those who do this a little too often, distracting yourself then becomes a habit--and therefore becomes detrimental to your progress. Push through whatever it is you have to do, then present yourself with some time off.

Anything I do in life must add some sort of benefit to my life and if it doesn't, I eliminate it--no matter what or who it is. Once you begin to take control of your life, including taking the time to better yourself, as well as spending time doing the things you love, you'll better appreciate the time you spend working.

I found that when I take a little vacation or break from all that I have to do, I come back even more motivated then I was before.